Did you know that 2-7 years are important developmental years in the life of a human brain? These ages have tremendous developmental explosion and construction in the brain. At times, when children attain seven years of age. they seem lost, shy and uninterested. As a parent, it is a bittersweet experience to watch your children officially exit childhood. However, this is the time when your children need you the most in terms of support and unspoken understanding. To know more about it, we spoke to Shivani Kudva, Certified Positive Discipline Educator and Coach.
Changes in Tween’s Behaviour
Increased independence is the hallmark of tween behaviour. You might also notice other changes in your tween’s behaviour like:
- Increased back talk
- Bending rules attitude
- Sudden disinterest or switching hobbies
- Stress over friend issues
- Emotionally charged responses
- Increased awareness of body and opposite gender
Kudva said that all these symptoms are age-specific and developmental.
Also Read: How Parents Can Help Their Teen Daughter Cope With Life Issues
Why is Your Tween Uninterested?
"Your tween may be undergoing huge physical and emotional changes," said Kudva. She said that while they have a sudden increased curriculum burden, they also have a heightened sense of their physicality and the existence of the opposite gender.
Adding to it, she said that the additional 'hawk eye' of parents on the children who want them to get focused, sit, behave properly, eat properly, and study well.
Does all this sound chaotic to you? This is exactly what’s happening inside your tween’s brain. "They’re embarking on a journey of self-discovery and exploration," said Kudva. "There are a lot of hormonal, physical, and emotional changes due to which they are unable to sync mind, body and thoughts," she added.
"What looks like an uninterested approach is a lot of clutter in their brains. They feel lethargic, emotional, confused and conscious of their existence. While it is disarming for parents to watch their children look seemingly uninterested and bored, we need to reset our expectations and assumptions about them," said Kudva.
What You Need To Do?
"The only thing inevitable in life is change. We need to change our thoughts, beliefs and expectations to help them think and feel better," said Kudva. Here’s what you can do.
Unconditional Support
"Support them when they feel low, cranky or irritable," said Kudva. She said that you should have fewer words, more physical touch, and fewer instructions. "They know all that we’re going to say. So show your love, express, hug and comfort them," suggested Kudva.
Also Read: Parenting Tips To Raise A Teenager
Lots of Meaningful Conversations and Decision Making
"They 'feel' grown up and enjoy holding conversations. Sharing your childhood vulnerability is a great idea to get them to open up. You should involve them in family decisions and take their vote," said Kudva.
Engage in Fun Activities
Kudva suggested that treks, walks, cooking, baking, art, and watching TV together are also great ways to engage. They need to know you’re fun and cool too. It detoxes them.
Free to Fall and Fail
"Make it clear that they’re free to learn, experiment, fail, fall, lose – at relationships and games, cry when they feel sad, laugh loud when they feel like and crash to bed when they feel like it! This gives them incredible support and unsaid love," highlighted the expert.
Home is Haven
"The four walls should be the safest and most honest walls in the world for them. You should create a space of harmony, respect, honesty, expression, and freedom," concluded Kudva.
[Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Consult your healthcare provider to get a thorough diagnosis and treatment as per your health needs.]
Image Credits: freepik
